Saturday, June 13, 2009


What I learnt today...

One thing i learnt from law and literature; that lawyers are desensitized from feeling. They look at cases based on facts.

Person A killed Person B. How? What? Why? When? Closing Argument.

Makes me wonder why I ever wanted to be a lawyer in the first place. My personal statement says that I yearn to see justice dealt out to the deserving.

=.=

I am currently learning about commercial contracting. uh... connection? dont see any.

It's not everyday you find something in the law that affects you as much as it affected me today. Law students just go plodding in and out of the heavy law texts, groaning about how certain questions were mis-spotted and how we were all going to fail and become less-than-perfect. ooo big deal.

To a certain extent, I guess I could put SOME of the blame on the lecturers..the law school..peer pressure..what have you. Studying the law becomes a chore; when I had previously dreamt (albeit a little too highly in the clouds) of being akin to Justice Bao sans the beard and dark skin, I am reduced to praying for at least a damn 2.1 for my second year. How sad is that?

When I was 6 years old, I was just finishing kindergarten, ready to be a big girl..go to primary school..I probably didn't understand what justice really meant. (I'm quite sure I knew of the word "justice" though :))

When they were 6 years old, they were murdered.

Halfway across the world, as I was enjoying my cartoons and toys and occasional outings to the park with my parents, 6 year olds like me were being butchered, and subject to torture - mental and physical. They saw their parents die in front of them, their little brother's head hacked off, their elder sisters brutally raped and mutilated. Men they did not know, dressed in colorful garb invaded their homes and made everything familiar..unfamiliar. All because of the size of their noses and the lighter shade of brown they were.

I didn't even know. Or at least, I have no recollection of hearing anything about it when I was six. All I remember is watching the news about some African country being invaded..and my parents commenting and shaking their heads. I would usually skip the news and come back at 7pm for my shows to start. But you know, what would I have thought then? Would I have cried foul and screamed at the unfairness? Or would I have shrugged, and asked my mother how long it would be till my next show?

Even now, this very morning... I was talking about genocide..and I mentioned it about 7 or 8 times "yeah but you know genocide came out already right..aiya maybe should study gender crimes instead..but materials are so hard to find.. hows??"..all without feeling. all without thinking what it actually meant. The word genocide, which the rest of the world struggled to understand in 1994, was experienced by the people in Rwanda. No words could explain it for them. The rest of the world turned a blind eye. They worried for the safety of their nationals..not thinking of the people that were being massacred. They sent aid..only to take their people home..home to a TV to watch the horrors unfold.

I felt so ashamed. Why did the rest of the world let that happen? They could have saved a million lives from torturous deaths. Dead bodies piled up on the road..the reporters did their job and censored pictures were everywhere in the news.. "The top stories.. The situation in Rwanda has worsened..." What did they do? Nothing. The people were left to fend for themselves. The big countries, England..the US..what did they do?

I guess you could shoot it back at me. "En, what could they have done?" I don't know. This feeling of futility gets me when I least expect it. Everything is so futile. What can I, as one individual do?

Watching the show was an enlightening experience for me. The words of the boring old Casesse and Shaw textbook were brought to life.. I saw what "killing of children" meant. I saw what "war crimes" really meant. I saw "rape", "torture", "death toll" come to life.

Yes it was just a show. But if a show can evoke such feelings, what could the real thing have been? Why weren't people doing anything to save them, I frequently asked myself throughout the two hours. I wonder who asked the same question the 100 days the Rwandan Genocide was on the news.

Something could have been done to stop it. But we just didn't care enough. It's just so sad really.

The study of International Law is so waffley that I can't even tell you where to begin. It is one of my weakest subjects, and one I dread to study because it's just so...so...inapplicable. I mean, contract you know you can use when you are a hotshot lawyer..But international criminal law? War crimes tribunal? like hello when are you ever going to put something like that to use? Thats what I used to think anyway.

I learnt today that international law was not meant to teach you about which year that situation happened and how it was overcome. It is meant to teach you to feel. And possibly to remind you never to turn a blind eye, to sympathise and make sure, in whatever way you can, that such atrocities will never happen again.

But still, here I am, stuck in front of this laptop, waiting for emancipation, not being out there doing something, anything to lessen the suffering of other people who are still being subject to such torture.

At least the brief two hours of clarity has changed me that little bit.

I need to feel more.

enz.

xoxo

Waves Crashed @ 3:04 AM;




::Oceanus::
EnLi.
19.
complicated is synonymous.
so NOT the prim and proper lady.
chocolates and crisps<3.
on the brink of a new chapter in life
and you're coming with me:)



::On the sea::

It keeps eternal whisperings around
Desolate shores, and with its mighty swell
Gluts twice ten thousand Caverns, till the spell
Of Hecate leaves them their old shadowy sound.
Often 'tis in such gentle temper found,
That scarcely will the very smallest shell
Be mov'd for days from where it sometime fell,
When last the winds of Heaven were unbound.
Oh ye! who have your eye-balls vex'd and tir'd,
Feast them upon the wideness of the Sea;
Oh ye! whose ears are dinn'd with uproar rude,
Or fed too much with cloying melody -
Sit ye near some old Cavern's Mouth, and brood
Until ye start, as if the sea-nymphs quir'd!
- John Keats


::Sea Breeze::



::Precious Corals::

::Other Seas::

*lipeng the other princess
*saran the hot onion
*melly STILL the emoqueen
*darling sukyein
*ben the "best" DJ in Malacca:)
*12+1
*shaun the mango
*tall ian:)
*tzins:)
*sammie the teletubby
*visionary sueebee



::seashores::

another sheepish post..
*sheepish*
Happily Never After...
happy birthday to blueseasblueskies!
memories...
Sorry SueBee. I am Very Slow. And an Insomniac.
the forehead, nose and lips.
this is going to be a post full of self-pity.
:C
I don't usually read blogs...


::the Deep Blue Sea::
August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 December 2008 March 2009 May 2009 June 2009 October 2009